Saturday, January 2, 2010
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
emo-tional
-cough cough-. clears the dust.
its been some time.
pfft. don't know what i'm feeling. maybe its the combined stress from o levels and her. catalysed by constant nightmares, together with weird and undefined dreams with consists of different visits of different people i thought i never wanted to see again.
curse blowjobs.
curse sexual intercourse
curse o levels ( TO BE EASY )
curse my ability to humour myself when im feeling low
today i realised something, i am usually the exact opposite of how i feel. when i feel alright/happy. i try to find something that makes me emo.
when im down. i cover it all up, and pretend that i'm crazily happy.
i hate this mask i'm wearing. and yet i'm gonna continue leaving it on, because i made a promise, and its to not make others worry for me anymore.
i can smell the brimstone burning ever so closely
its been some time.
pfft. don't know what i'm feeling. maybe its the combined stress from o levels and her. catalysed by constant nightmares, together with weird and undefined dreams with consists of different visits of different people i thought i never wanted to see again.
curse blowjobs.
curse sexual intercourse
curse o levels ( TO BE EASY )
curse my ability to humour myself when im feeling low
today i realised something, i am usually the exact opposite of how i feel. when i feel alright/happy. i try to find something that makes me emo.
when im down. i cover it all up, and pretend that i'm crazily happy.
i hate this mask i'm wearing. and yet i'm gonna continue leaving it on, because i made a promise, and its to not make others worry for me anymore.
i can smell the brimstone burning ever so closely
Friday, October 31, 2008
AM I JUST STUPID?
it PISSES me while i let all the chances fly pass and reject all advances to see you brushing other peoples hair.
and its like him and him SO COOL. and liu jing is like. i dont even want to talk about him. Im much better appreciated else where.and i know that.
i really don't want any of this. i want happiness. we're not falling apart. i am. And when should i know to hit the buzzer? i know i'm hurting you. but you're hurting me too girl. Empty promises. long hours beside the phone. Persistent that you hadn't forget and bluffing myself that you would surprise me? *sends a reminder*, disappointed with the reply.
you love me? do you? i don't see it. Its easier said then done girl. i really need you to prove it to me.
what am i doing.. i need tosleep think. think this through. because there has been too much of this bullshit going out.
i pray. i pray for happiness
and its like him and him SO COOL. and liu jing is like. i dont even want to talk about him. Im much better appreciated else where.and i know that.
i really don't want any of this. i want happiness. we're not falling apart. i am. And when should i know to hit the buzzer? i know i'm hurting you. but you're hurting me too girl. Empty promises. long hours beside the phone. Persistent that you hadn't forget and bluffing myself that you would surprise me? *sends a reminder*, disappointed with the reply.
you love me? do you? i don't see it. Its easier said then done girl. i really need you to prove it to me.
what am i doing.. i need to
i pray. i pray for happiness
Thursday, September 4, 2008
noob author
this just isn't the way it should have ended. too abrupt. too sudden. he couldn't put the pieces together. he was left in the dark. He wasn't given an opinion on any of those decisions.
well. his not okay with it.
his ABLE to live on w/o it.
BUT he DOESN'T want to.
the power of choice.. live a life with or w/o something important to you. something so dear . something you'd do the things you never thought you would for. i know young love don't last long. but this should not have been the way things should have ended.
as if the author got bored of writing his book which he/she put in so much effort for. all the meticulous details. from the perfect weather to start things off. to the wonderful chain of dramatic events that follow. and it just ended in half a page of writing. though even if it wasn't a fairy tale ending. it could have been better... not just for some theoretical prove.
fuck this. fuck you.
well. his not okay with it.
his ABLE to live on w/o it.
BUT he DOESN'T want to.
the power of choice.. live a life with or w/o something important to you. something so dear . something you'd do the things you never thought you would for. i know young love don't last long. but this should not have been the way things should have ended.
as if the author got bored of writing his book which he/she put in so much effort for. all the meticulous details. from the perfect weather to start things off. to the wonderful chain of dramatic events that follow. and it just ended in half a page of writing. though even if it wasn't a fairy tale ending. it could have been better... not just for some theoretical prove.
fuck this. fuck you.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
this is what i feel
this is where i feel i stand in your point of view...
Sleep
meeting other people
ya xun
go out with friends
tired
lazy
me..
irritating people..
and some other stuffs.
ah well
Sleep
meeting other people
ya xun
go out with friends
tired
lazy
me..
irritating people..
and some other stuffs.
ah well
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
man.
i really don't see whats wrong with 3 years. or even an eternity with you. but man, i just needed to know that we're going somewhere... pfft.. look if you're getting sick of this already. tell me. i know you don't want to bring my hopes up too high. but if thats the case... sigh i don't know. i don't want to leave you. nor do i want you to leave me. but but. its just not fair.. life's never fair.. i'm sure i will never find someone like you ever again. and i won't be looking around. if we don't work out. it shall be my last serious relationship till i think im finally ready to settle down.. no. my last... relationship.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
fucked up eh?
get over my security? how am i supposed to do that when you're so reluctant to leave your bed for me. just because of school you cannot wake up an hour earlier to see me. and i guess i should go and talk to the person who i made out with previously again i guess? and get her attention just like what you're doing?
everyone needs attention and.. i need yours. but you're being so cold and shitty to me these few days. i'm really like whatever. don't ask me why im so angry, you asked me to fool. and all i can do is to rant it out here i guess. at least blogger gives me attention.
no, i won't say it was a bad decision on 150508. it was a great one, i had fun, and i found love, and i don't wish that this would fall apart. but once in a while can it not be my fault. As in . i don't have to explain things and that you would see it for yourself. whatever man.
i won't mean a thing if i did what he did to you anyway eh? you would still like come and view my friendster once in a while. read my blog ? and like 2 months later comment me or something.. yeah maybe i'll get your attention then.
everyone needs attention and.. i need yours. but you're being so cold and shitty to me these few days. i'm really like whatever. don't ask me why im so angry, you asked me to fool. and all i can do is to rant it out here i guess. at least blogger gives me attention.
no, i won't say it was a bad decision on 150508. it was a great one, i had fun, and i found love, and i don't wish that this would fall apart. but once in a while can it not be my fault. As in . i don't have to explain things and that you would see it for yourself. whatever man.
i won't mean a thing if i did what he did to you anyway eh? you would still like come and view my friendster once in a while. read my blog ? and like 2 months later comment me or something.. yeah maybe i'll get your attention then.
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